Riderless Horse is my first solo document, and it’s the primary document my former accomplice, Kennan Gudjonsson, didn’t produce.
I haven’t made an album since 2010. I made a decision to cease pursuing music a number of years after my sixth document, Outlaster, due to unhappiness, overwhelming chaos, psychological sickness, and my tragically dysfunctional relationship with Kennan. Creating music had all the time been a optimistic outlet throughout tough occasions, however ultimately it turned a supply of absolute distress.
Kennan, a cat, and I lived in a studio condominium in NYC for 25 years, discovering methods to outlive whereas making data and occurring excursions. Our condominium was the place the place folks would come keep, eat, drink, play music, and use our tub. It was fairly a house we had created, but it surely was decaying steadily from the second we moved in, and ultimately, it was as if black mould was rising beneath the floor, undetected, and the 2 of us have been dying and getting too weak to ever depart. We liked one another. We have been one another’s household, however there was ongoing abuse, management and manipulation. We hid. We didn’t need anybody to see how ugly issues might get, so we more and more remoted from our family and friends. We have been misplaced.
On January 26, 2020, I made the choice to separate and stay aside, and on January 27, Kennan died by suicide. What a factor, suicide. I can solely really feel disappointment and guilt about it. Possibly I’ll produce other reactions to it in a while.
Riderless Horse paperwork the grief, but it surely additionally marks moments of empowerment and an actual happiness in discovering my very own functionality. Steve Albini produced this document with me, and Greg Norman assisted. The three of us are previous associates, and we did a subject recording in a guesthouse constructed like a lighthouse that two very expensive associates of mine have in Esopus, NY. It was precisely the fitting surroundings to work on this document. All of us had meals collectively, cried, laughed, and informed tales. It was excellent. It made me understand how a lot I really like writing, enjoying and recording music.
Horrible issues occur. These have been some horrible issues. So, what to do – be taught one thing precious, join with folks, transfer the fuck out of that condominium, bear in mind the humor, discover the humor, inform the reality, and make a document. I made a document.